April 17, 2008

I'm pretty sure that my fortune cookies have been hitting on me

A few days ago, I went out and got some Chinese food. First, and most importantly, it was fucking fantastic! Second, and even more most important, my fortune cookies started to chat me up.

They didn't even start off subtle, either.

Others are deeply moved by your presence... in bed.

I could only respond to that in one way: fuckin' right they are!

But it didn't stop there. My leftovers also included a fortune cookie.

You express yourself with charm and humor... in bed.

Oh, Fortune Cookies, you say such things-- I'm blushing. If only you were animate...

I'm having the last of the Chinese food tonight, before it goes bad and starts a refrigerator revolt. I'm hoping my fortune cookies will affirm their love for me, but secretly fear they may leave me for the moo shoo crepes.


kingmonkey said...


A smile is the universal communication between two people... in bed.

It's so hard to stay faithful when these cookies are just so sweet.

Pluto Snares said...

A smile is the universal communication between two people... except in bed.
Hope I didn't catch you on a bad day, but that's my recent fun thing to do is read the fortunes to other people (friends, preferably) and end it with "except in bed"