Hi, my name is Knuckles.

I'm a heroine addict.

It was innocent enough, in the beginning. I found a discarded poster of Princess Leia, one day after school, and brought it home with me. My friends thought it was cool. I loved the adulation of my peers, and I needed to do more to keep it up. They'd egg me on; they convinced me to start reading Wonder Woman.

Well, then I was Mr. Popular. We'd have parties and someone would always start passing around the Batgirl. My wife was always trying to be understanding, but I hid how often I was using. It was a downward spiral of Black Canary, Ms. Marvel, and Lara Croft.

Before I knew it, my wife left me when she found Ellen Ripley stashed under our mattress.