I have difficulty with the idea of having a desk near the bathroom door. I was lucky this time, and I didn't have to bite that bullet. The bullet was instead bitten by Phil. He isn't our resident bullet biter by any means, so this seems an odd place to put him.
I do notice that he nods and speaks to me when I go by, though. It's as though he's documenting my bathroom habits. Perhaps he's been put there by The Man, whose name is Gord, to keep me "down" somehow.
I like being able to go to the bathroom unnoticed. It adds a layer of mystery that is comfortable for me. Like, 'where has kingmonkey gone?' 'I don't know'. That's better than 'where has kingmonkey gone?' 'To the bathroom, he's been in their for seven minutes, and this is his third trip to the bathroom today.'
Clearly, I must devise an alternate means of reaching the bathroom unnoticed. Perhaps if I slide along the office floor, wearing strips of carpet as camouflage. I can wait until he's doing credit card reconciliation and dart into the men's room. That'll screw up his precious surveillance, won't it?
Alternately, I may hit him in the head with a plank, from behind.
I'll be sure to document the results of whichever plan I enact. Stay tuned, and know that I am fighting for your rights.